Tag: Kevin Hearne

Two Ravens and One Crow – Kevin Hearne

What would it be like, I wonder, if humans could slobber as freely as dogs? There’s no social stigma for dogs when they slobber and it looks like a lot of fun, so I envy them that freedom. I’ve certainly wanted to slobber at various times—there are situations where nothing else makes sense—but despite having […]

Tricked – Kevin Hearne

The best trick I ever pulled oʃ was watching myself die. I did a respectable job of it too—the dying, I mean, not the watching. The key to dying well is to make a ɹnal verbal ejaculation that is full of rage and pain but not tainted in the least by squeals of terror or […]

Trapped – Kevin Hearne

You know those spastic full-body twitches you get sometimes when you’re almost asleep and your muscles want to play a practical joke on your brain? You startle wide awake and immediately get pissed at your nervous system, wondering what the hell that was all about. I’ve caught myself talking to it before: “Damn it, Dude”—yes, […]

Three Slices – Kevin Hearne

THE LOWLAND marsh in the hours before dawn was perhaps a bit too quiet. The rasp of insects and the throaty warbles of amphibians, so raucous moments before, had fallen off into nervous titters, and it wasn’t because of my presence or because of Oberon’s. We weren’t the predators here. I crouched down next to […]

The Chapel Perilous – Kevin Hearne

Author’s Note For quite some time I’ve been fascinated by the old Grail legends that developed in several countries of western Europe but today are largely associated with England. The legends illustrate how our stories and beliefs evolve over time, for the Grail originally had nothing to do with the Christian mythology that got stapled […]

Staked – Kevin Hearne

Atticus O’Sullivan, born in 83 B.C.E. as Siodhachan Ó Suileabháin, has spent much of his long life as a Druid on the run from Aenghus Óg, one of the Tuatha Dé Danann. Aenghus Óg seeks the return of Fragarach, a magical sword that Atticus stole in the second century, and the fact that Atticus has […]

Shattered – Kevin Hearne

I think it’s cool if you read the unusual names in my books however you want. There won’t be a test afterward and I’m not going to withhold a Twinkie from you if you pronounce any of them incorrectly. You’re supposed to have fun here, after all, and it’s usually not fun if someone tells […]

Scourged – Kevin Hearne

atticus O’Sullivan, born in 83 B.C.E. as Siodhachan Ó Suileabháin, has spent much of his long life as a Druid on the run from Aenghus Óg, one of the Tuatha Dé Danann. Aenghus Óg seeks the return of Fragarach, a magical sword that Atticus stole in the second century, and the fact that Atticus has […]

Hunted – Kevin Hearne

It’s odd how when you feel safe you can’t think of that thing it was you kept meaning to do, but when you’re running for your life you suddenly remember the entire list of things you never got around to doing. I always wanted to get blindly drunk with a mustachioed man, take him back […]

Hounded – Kevin Hearne

There are many perks to living for twenty-one centuries, and foremost among them is bearing witness to the rare birth of genius. It invariably goes like this: Someone shrugs oʃ the weight of his cultural traditions, ignores the baleful stares of authority, and does something his countrymen think to be completely batshit insane. Of those, […]

Hexed – Kevin Hearne

Turns out that when you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special “godslayer” term life policies. Charlatans with “god-proof” armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But, most notably, other gods, who want to ɹrst congratulate you on your achievement, second warn you not to try such shenanigans […]

Hammered – Kevin Hearne

According to popular imagination, squirrels are supposed to be adorable. As they scurry about on this tree branch or that trunk, people point at them and say, “Awww, how cuuuuute!” with their voices turning sugary and spiraling up into falsetto ecstasy. But I’m here to tell you that they’re cute only so long as they’re […]

Grimoire of the Lamb – Kevin Hearne

People today think ancient Egypt was ineʃably cool. I blame this misconception on hieroglyphics and (to a lesser extent) on the Bangles. The truth is that the ancient Egyptians regarded most people as chattel for the ruling class and practiced some of the blackest magic history has ever seen—or, rather, hasn’t seen, because they were […]

Carniepunk – Kevin Hearne

(This story takes place six years after Tricked, the fourth book of the Iron Druid Chronicles, and two weeks after the events of the novella Two Ravens and One Crow.) Ifear Kansas. It’s not a toe-curling type of fear, where shoulders tense with an incipient cringe; it’s more of a vague apprehension, an expectation that […]


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