Yours – Shaw Montgomery

“He’s gay, right?” ScoĴ snorted. I didn’t need to glance over at him to picture the frustrated look on his face. “He’s in a gay bar, wearing skintight jeans, a see-through shirt, and some stud who’s probably got a hot accent just bought him a drink. What do you think?” I knew right off the bat how to drain the smug sound from his voice. “I have three words for you. Pizza. Delivery. Guy.” It was like a balloon deflating. “Oh, okay…so he might be gay.” And we were back to square one. “Do you think he’s gay?” ScoĴ took a moment to think it through, and I glanced over to see his wide shoulders shrug. “I really think the pizza guy was an anomaly. Who flirts with gay guys to get bigger tips?” Evidently, we either tipped too much or were suckers. Probably both.

Not wanting to rehash the pizza disaster, I glanced back toward the bar. “Do you think he’s just here because guys buy him drinks? Lisa over in accounting said when she and her husband were dating, she’d let him go to gay bars with his friends. She said it was a way for him to hang out with his buddies without other girls coming up to him.” “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” SeĴing his glass down on the small round table, he gave me a long look, not sure whether to believe me or not. “I s it actually true?” She’d seemed genuine. “She said it was. She said he was military, so guys thought he had to say he was straight. Then they’d still buy beers for him.” “Sounds like she didn’t trust him at all.” ScoĴ was big on trust and wouldn’t even date a guy who made him question their sincerity. It was my turn to shrug. “They’re going through some kind of weird divorce, so maybe.” “Weird?” Nodding, I took a drink of my beer before answering. “Yeah…like screaming daytime talk show weird.

” He leaned against the back of the chair, clearly geĴing into it. “That’s not good. Did —” I had a flashback to our last night out. “Nope. We’re not geĴing distracted. This is what happened last time we went out.” ScoĴ’s eyebrows pulled together, and he gave me a questioning look. “We had a good time listening to that band. What are you talking about?” I had to chuckle. We’d had a good time that night, sure, but that wasn’t what I was pointing out. “We planned out your financial goals for the year while listening to the band. We were supposed to be picking up guys. Remember?” ScoĴ didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with it. “Hey, we got a lot done. And there weren’t that many gay guys around.

” “Maybe we just didn’t see them because we weren’t looking at all.” I could never decide if ScoĴ was easily distracted by things when we went out or if picking up guys made him nervous, so he just didn’t even attempt to do it. Probably both. “Well, I’m looking now, and I’m still not seeing anyone I want to talk to.” “Talk to?” There were tons of people to chat with at the club, but that was part of the problem. It was crowded and overwhelming. ScoĴ didn’t seem to mind, but I preferred the smaller bars we usually went to. He barked out a laugh that was almost lost in the music blaring from the dance floor in the other room. “To start with. Got to at least say hello.” I fought to keep a straight face. “And then ‘what’s your sign?’” Scott groaned. “Don’t say that. I still have nightmares about that guy.” I chuckled.

“But he seemed so into you.” Shaking his head, Scott reached for his beer. “Nope. Not in a thousand lifetimes.” Our first experience with a gay bar in college had been a disaster. We’d been the only guys under fifty, and they’d circled like birds of prey. The guy dressed in seventies chic had been the nicest but had the worst pickup lines ever. What had made it even beĴer was that ScoĴ could be slightly literal, especially when he was buzzed, and he’d had no idea what the guy was talking about. ScoĴ had just looked around, and then asked me if I’d stolen a sign. He’d been a bit more buzzed than I’d realized. “Okay, no more nightmare memories.” I resisted the urge to reach over and squeeze his shoulder, not wanting to give anyone the impression we were together. Nodding, I grabbed my beer instead. “Thank you.” ScoĴ looked around the room as he drank his beer and then set the glass down.

“Maybe we should’ve gone somewhere else tonight.” He was probably right. We were both aggressive and outgoing in sports, and even when it came to work, but clubs and dating were different. When you weren’t crowding around twinks on the dance floor, people assumed you were either straight and lost, or taken. ScoĴ always came across awkwardly when picking up somebody in this kind of situation, so he barely ever tried. I thought he needed to relax more and be himself, but he thought guys wouldn’t find the real him as attractive as the package looked. It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t change his mind. Sure, a lot of guys went for the big, brawny, football-type tops, but most of the time those guys wanted smart and interesting to talk to as well. I thought it was cute when he’d get excited about some historical event that happened centuries ago or an article he’d read on the stock market. He just didn’t let enough people see that side of himself. I wasn’t boring and wasn’t completely useless in social situations, but that didn’t help me find guys I was aĴracted to. Finding cute, outgoing twinks wasn’t hard, but they took one look at me and decided I must be some kind of dominant top. At that point, the only guys who would talk to me were looking for me to make all the decisions and take control. It was frustrating, because that wasn’t who I was or what I wanted. But there was no way I was going to tell them that.

Big, broad guys who still looked like they played football in college weren’t supposed to want someone else to take charge in bed. I was supposed to throw a twink around and growl orders at him, not want him to stretch me out and give me sexy demands. “Why don’t you go talk to that guy?” ScoĴ’s eyes shifted toward the other end of the bar. “He’s been baĴing his eyelashes at you for the past few minutes. Not that you seemed to have noticed.” I’d noticed, but I was hoping Scott wouldn’t. The liĴle brunet was cute, with big Bambi eyes and a stylishly floppy haircut, but every movement just screamed out he was looking for some kind of big sexy daddy. His eyes had followed every muscular guy in the place. I should’ve been interested. But without being overly honest, there wasn’t a good explanation for why I wasn’t. ScoĴ would’ve probably understood, but there were just some things we’d never talked about. Hell, even after knowing him all through high school, I hadn’t realized he was gay until we started hanging out in college together. So I wasn’t in any hurry to tell him a submissive guy would never do it for me. Thankfully, I was saved from having to come up with an excuse when someone else went up and sat beside the guy at the bar. ScoĴ seemed frustrated for me, which was nice, but not really necessary.

“Maybe next time.” Making excuses was becoming second nature. “I’m not in any hurry to jump back into anything serious, and he looks like the serious type.” That was the best I could come up with. It was almost true, so I didn’t feel too bad about the lie. I’d been dating a guy for almost a year, and a few months ago, we’d broken up. Nothing crazy and dramatic, but he’d been really frustrated I wouldn’t open up more. Mike had been nice, but I’d kind of fallen into a relationship with him by accident, and I’d always known it wouldn’t work in the long run. Evidently, if you had too many coffee dates with someone you ended up in a relationship. I was going to be more careful about that in the future. Part of the reason I’d been puĴing off dating was because I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I couldn’t decide if I was going to keep living half in the closet, or if I was going to go for it and find someone I was really interested in. I’d probably end up staying in the closet, but at least I was going to think about it for a while. I wasn’t sure if that was the right analogy or not, but it was the best I could come up with. When the only thing you were honest and open about was the fact that you were gay, had you really come out? I knew some people would say yes and think I was stupid or prejudiced or judgmental or something.

I wasn’t sure how to explain it, but it felt wrong to me. It wasn’t like I felt the need to shout it from the rooftops or anything dramatic. But when I was hiding things from someone like Scott, it’d never felt like I was being my real self. Looking back to the other side of the bar, I saw the sexy guy we’d first noticed still holding court. The mix of guys and girls around him kept shifting, so it didn’t look like he was with anyone in particular. But even if I’d been willing to go up and try to flirt with him, I wasn’t going to so much as smile in his direction until I knew if he was at least bi. Not that I was probably going to do that either. Scott’s whole body tensed and he let out a slow breath. “Oh, that’s interesting.” So he was bi, or at least very open-minded. He also seemed to be in some kind of relationship with the people who’d been around him the longest, a tall blond guy and a short liĴle bruneĴe woman. As they’d gotten up, they’d both leaned over and took turns giving him heated kisses. The crowd around them made catcalls and teasing comments, but he shrugged and seemed to wave it off. The man and woman headed back toward the dance floor, but the sexy twink just hung out with everyone else. “So do you think they’re all together?” ScoĴ was still working on his first beer, so I wasn’t worried about him being drunk yet.

J ust not quite ready to give up hope on the sexy guy. “Maybe.” I shrugged. “That’s kind of what it looks like.” Part of me was relieved, but there was another part that was frustrated. I didn’t even know his name, but he was everything I secretly, and not-so-secretly, wanted. His blond hair was long enough on top that it made me want to run my fingers through it, and the short sides gave it an edgy look, aging him just a bit. The tight jeans showed how narrow his waist was, but the nearly see-through shirt showed long, sculpted muscles. He might have been much smaller than we were, but he wasn’t fragile. If it had just been his looks tha


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Updated: 14 January 2022 — 11:25

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